Love is the cure (living in my world)
by GodAndMonsters
Summary: AU:Regina fought for many years to break away from her mother, a powerful mafia head. Her life as a kindergarten teacher for children with Autism was all that she could hope for. Then she meets Emma, a single mother to Henry, a child in her class. As they get to know each other, Regina is forced to face her past. SQ.
1. Chapter 1

**Love is The Cure**

Disclaimer- I don't own Once Upon a Time or any recognizable characters.

 **AN- I work with kids on the spectrum and a lot of what you will read is from personal experience I have with those amazing and wonderful kids.**

* * *

Emma was holding Henry close to her. She smelled his forehead, taking in the scent of shampoo in the kid's hair.

She was left in the doctor's office while the doctor went to bring papers and a coffee for both of them. Emma knew that if the doctor went to fetch coffee, it meant that they needed to talk. She was terrified about what the doctor had to say. She had done research about her son's condition, but she wasn't ready to face reality yet.

Emma had Henry at a young age. His father left when he found out he had gotten her pregnant, and Emma was left at the age of 20 to raise her son alone. She swore she would do right by him, and because of that, she worked hard at every job she found. She rented a small house with one bedroom that she shared with Henry. It had a small living room that was connected to the kitchen.

And when Henry was just about one year old, she started to notice that something was not right. She didn't know much about babies, but Henry was not making any direct eye contact with her. He didn't talk yet, but Emma dismissed it. Henry was still a baby and every baby developed at their own time. By the time Henry was two years old the eye contact he was making was limited only to objects he wanted… and he said only four words. "Yes," "no," "kiss," and "bok." The word "bok" meant that he wanted his fairytale book, the book he spent most of his time with. It was then that she knew something was wrong. Her son didn't talk much and his interest subjects were very limited, but she was scared. Despite that, she did some research and found out about something called PDD and Autism. Her son was a perfect match to what was described there. Emma's heart almost failed her. How did it happen? Had she done something wrong? Was it her fault?

She set up an appointment with Dr. Whale. He was the best, and because he was the best, it cost much more money to see him. So Emma worked three times harder in order pay for this meeting. Henry was now two and a half years old. It was the third meeting with the doctor, and it would also be the final one.

The doctor entered the room with two hot coffees in his hands. He set down one hot cup in front of Emma and took a seat across from her, sending a warm smile in Henry's direction. "Miss Swan, Henry is a lovely child," He stated and Emma heart missed a beat. She hugged Henry impossibly close to her, as if to protect him from the doctor's next words.

"He has also shown a number of symptoms. With impaired social interaction, he doesn't have the vocabulary we expect toddlers at two and a half years old to have."

Emma didn't hear much of what the doctor said. Tons of thoughts ran through her head. What would her son's future be like? And what would happen now? How could she raise a child with special needs? She was a single parent and didn't even have a real job! A single tear ran down her cheek.

Suddenly, Henry shouted out, jumping from Emma legs. He quickly took his fairytale book, hugging it close to him until he calmed down a bit. Emma didn't know what scared him till she noticed the hot coffee she spilled on the floor.

Henry pointed at the coffee and screamed, "No!" He repeated the word several times, then ran to his mother's side and lifted his small hands up. Emma picked him up in her arms and hugged him, trying to sooth him. He raised his head from his chest and kissed her. "Kiss kiss," he said and kissed her again. In that moment Emma swore she would do anything she could to make Henry's life a good one.

* * *

-three months later-

It was Henry's first day in kindergarten. Emma heard good things about the school. It was a special kindergarten with eight kids, all of them on the Autism Spectrum. The teacher had a good reputation and Emma used nearly every contact she had in order to put Henry in that place.

It was two hours drive from their home, but Emma saved money and in two weeks they would be moving to a place closer to the school. She made Henry a sandwich with jelly for the drive and cut it in a half, knowing he wouldn't eat it unless it was cut right in the middle.

Knowing that Henry would have to wake up soon if they wanted to get to the school on time, she went to her and Henry bedroom. She looked at her little boy admiring his peaceful features while he slept. He looked exactly like any other kid at his age, small and innocent, his thumb safely tucked in his mouth. She stroked his hair for half a minute before he opened his eyes.

"Good morning, kid." Emma smiled and Henry blinked a few times, checking his surroundings.

"Kiss kiss!" He demanded, and Emma bent down and kissed his forehead.

Soon, they were outside the building. Henry refused to leave the car. Emma knew he had a hard time adapting to changes. She actually prepared herself for that.

"Henry do you want a fairytale book?" She asked and saw Henry start to relax immediately. He stopped holding his seatbelt like his life depend on it."Yes," he answered.

"You know, in kindergarten they have lots of fairytale books." She smiled at him and finally got him out of the seat belt.

Henry smiled and repeated the word "bok" all the way to the building.

* * *

It was an exciting day for Regina Mills. It was the first day of the school year, and she got three new children in her class this year. She was happy that she was able to keep the five kids she had grown to love beyond measure. But during the two weeks of the holiday, she had met with the new kid's parents. She couldn't wait to meet the new kids, Henry especially. There was something about the kid that she was drawn to. His mother, Emma, was talking about him with so much love and hurt. She was really sad that he could say only four words and none of them was "mom." Dealing with and helping these parents was something Regina was used to, but seeing Emma was something new and hurtful for Regina. Emma was a single mother with an autistic child, and she was so young and beautiful.

Regina quickly dismissed those thoughts. She needed to be professional. She was there to help those kids and parents and not to get emotionally involved beyond that. At the end of the day, in order to survive all of those emotions, she knew that she must keep her distance.

"Hello Grace," Regina greeted the three year old girl with a warm smile. The girl jumped in excitement and ran to Regina, giving her a high five. She took her hand and began walking Regina to the game closet.

"You want a game?" Regina smiled."Well let's see. Please take your IPad and tell me what should I give you."

Grace ran to fetch her IPad from her bag and was back beside Regina in only a few seconds. She clicked on the Dora puzzle icon three times.

"All right, all right. I hear you." Regina laughed and bent to ruffle her hair.

She took the Dora puzzle off of the shelf and gave it to Grace. "Here, take it. But sit at a table please."

Grace ran and started to make her puzzle.

Regina saw from the window that Emma was approaching the building with Henry safe in her arms. Henry was yelling something she couldn't understand. She went to the door and waited for them to come in.

"Hello," Emma said when she saw Regina appear at the door. "This is Henry."

"Bok, bok!" Henry said and held his mother tighter.

"Hello Henry," Regina said. "What did you say darling?"

"He wants fairytale books," Emma explained.

Regina smiled. "Henry, do you want me to show you the books we have? I think we even have a Frozen book."

Henry eyes got wide and he quickly moved from his mother's embrace and tried to put his feet on the ground. Emma put him down and he looked at Regina, saying, "Yes, bok."

Henry was sitting on the kid's couch in the library area with three different fairytale books. Emma was standing beside Regina, not quite ready to leave yet.

"He will be fine," Regina promised. "It's hard in the beginning. It will be for both of you, but he will adjust. We won't push him too much in the first few days. We'll let him be near the books for a while, introduce him slowly, then we will ask him to come to morning meetings with his classmates." She paused, "We will tell him exactly what we will do today and when mom will pick him up. I promise you he will be fine and I will tell you if something happens and you need to pick him up earlier."

Emma smiled. "Thank you."

Suddenly, a small boy came and crushed his body against Regina, holding her tight and kissing her cheek."Hello to you too Adam," Regina said and hugged him back. "Do you want to pick a game to play?"

Regina and the boy left, and just by seeing that interaction, Emma felt that her son was safe. Something about Regina made Emma feel warm and calm. She hadn't felt like that in years. And with a smile on her face she left the building.

* * *

AN- So what do you think? Do you want more?

And thank you for **GracefulWhispers** who for beta this story **!**


	2. Chapter 2

Love is The Cure

AN / so here we go , chapter 2 , first I want to say I found a great beta reader to help me with my grammar issues.. since English is not my first language. thank you **GracefulWhispers**

Chapter 2

It was 9am and Regina was getting ready for the first morning meeting of the year. She was checking to make sure she had all that she needed when she noticed a small hand touching her leg. Regina turned around to see Henry. For a few moments he just watched her, before he slowly put his hand in hers and pulled her toward the door.

On the front of the door were three photos. One was of the playground, one was of the kindergarten class, and the last was of the outside gate. Henry was pointing at the outside gate, showing Regina that he wanted out.

Regina bent down and looked into the little boy's eyes. She held his small hand in hers and spoke to him, "Henry, right now we are playing inside and we are not going out. I know you want to go home and you will go home after lunch today."

Henry just took Regina's hand and put it on the doorknob. Regina put her hand down and Henry started to scream and jump around. "NO! NO!" He ripped the picture of the outside gate off of the door and put it in Regina's hand. She tried to calm him down by holding his hands but Henry just ran from her and kept screaming.

"Rachel," Regina called her co-worker, "I need you to do the morning meeting today. I'm going to take Henry to the playground to calm down a little."

"No problem," Rachel answered.

Regina took the picture of the playground and showed it to Henry. "Do you want to play outside little one?" She smiled at him.

Henry stopped screaming and looked at the picture. He wiped his eyes with his sleeves and nodded a small yes.

Regina was pushing Henry on the swing as the little boy giggled, his crying long forgotten for now. Every time the swing came close to her, Regina tickled Henry in the stomach causing the boy to giggle even louder. Regina fell in love with the sound. She knew from the first time she saw him that Henry would be something special to her. His eyes spoke louder than any words he needed to say.

Suddenly, he decided that he had enough swinging and he jumped from the swing. Regina quickly caught him in time. "Henry! You can't jump from the swing. It's dangerous. If you want to come down you need to show me." She held Henry left hand and extended his palm. She then sharply brought his open right hand down to his left palm at a right angle to show him the sign language for if he ever wanted to get off of the swing. "See honey? That means stop."

Henry looked at his hands for a few seconds before he ran toward his backpack, put it on his back, and went to the outside gate. Regina followed him there, and when she came close to him, Henry screamed and cried. Regina held him in her arms and hugged him while he cried. He tried to bite his arms out of frustration, but she held him close, preventing him from hurting himself.

She began to tell him a story, hoping that would help soothe him. "Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a queen ruled over a distant land. The queen looked happy on the outside and all the people in the realm adored her, but there was great sadness in the queen's life. The queen wanted a child..."

She kept telling Henry the story, feeling the boy calm down in her hands. When she finished with the words "Happily ever after," she heard Henry mumble something.

"What sweetheart?" she whispered.

"Kiss" he said again, more loudly now. Regina felt her heart swell and a big smile appeared on her face. She kissed Henry on the top of his head and together they went to join the rest of the class again.

The rest of the day went well for Henry and when Emma came to pick him up, Regina told her everything that had happened. She emphasized that Henry was doing well after she calmed him down.

Before leaving, Henry ran to Regina and gave her a high five. He then hugged his mother and pulled her toward the exit.

Emma turned around and said "Thank you" to Regina with a gentle smile before leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Regina was doing some paperwork in the meeting room, waiting for the rest of the group to show up. Suddenly, one of her colleagues appeared.

April bust into the room. "We've created a monster!" She stated, dramatically taking a seat on a small, kid-sized chair.

"Hello to you too." Regina smiled at the young, but genius speech therapist "Coffee?" She asked, standing to make one for her.

"Yes please," April replied tiredly. "It was a hard, long day. And Grace… Oh my god Grace..."

"I'm guessing our little Grace is the monster you are talking about, then." Regina smiled and gave April a cup of coffee.

"I'm hearing myself from every corner of the building... and I'm not even talking that much. It's a nightmare. I love her, you know I love her. But she was this quiet sweet girl and suddenly I hear her voice everywhere. guess I should really be proud, because that's a good thing." April smiled and sipped her coffee.

"Well, it was your idea to record your own voice into the IPad. I told you that I didn't think Grace would have an Irish accent, but you insisted to do this. You made that cake, now you'll have to eat it." Regina smiled.

"Very funny." April rolled her eyes.

"On the subject of IPads… Have you seen Henry?"

"Not really. I mean, I read his papers. But today I only took Grace and Liran."

"I think he might need an IPad. He does talk, but do you remember Nick?"

"Of course. He didn't speak much at all until we bought an IPad for him. It was a big surprise." April smiled at the thought.

"I think Henry needs a push, just like Nick. Maybe with an IPad he will surprise us too. One way or another it will give him a way to communicate something he wants. Hopefully that can bridge the gap to him speaking more." Regina said with sadness and hope in her eyes.

"I will see him first thing tomorrow morning." April said upon looking at her schedule.

Only a few moments later, the whole team came through the door and took their places at the table. Everyone chatted with each other and Regina allowed them a moment to catch up before she started the meeting.

"Okay, team. Let's start this!" She said out loud, the room quickly went silent.

Regina then continued. "So, as we all know, we got three new children added to our group this year. I want us to start off talking about them- we have Justin, Liran, and Henry.

"All boys," Renee said while faking sad face. She was the school's occupational therapist.

"We have two girls already," Alanis answered.

"Team! Focus please." Regina said. She loved her team. They were all serious and full of love and commitment to these children. But it was also a big team. There were fourteen people and it was hard to keep everyone silent during the meeting.

"Let's start with Justin. He is two years and ten months old, his mother said he has a severe echolalia problem. She said he can repeat phrases from tv shows for hours, and she barely can hold a conversation with him. He also loves numbers and when he is in distress, he asks for cards that have numbers on them– his time with them are limited, though, because he can stay with those cards all day long before moving onto something else. Another thing that the parents find hard is that Justin has a little sister who is one and a half years old. They say she wants to play with him and he just keeps saying he wants to play alone."

"Does he love music?" The music therapist asked.

"Yes," Regina responded. "His parents mentioned that he stands in front of the tv while songs are playing."

The team talked about Justin more before going on to the next child.

"And then there's Liran. So he is three years old. He mostly repeats what has been said around him and rarely talks. He needs to be highly motivated. His parents say that he can be violent towards people. That usually happens when he is frustrated and misunderstood, He is also very active and barely sleep at night."

"Is he on medication?" Kate, the psychologist, asked.

"His parents are divorced. The mother supports medication to regulate his sleeping pattern, but the father disagrees. But, long story short, yes. And he also has sensory problems." Regina added.

"And last but not least, Henry." Regina took a deep breath. "So his mother is a single mother. Henry is 2 years and 9 months old, and he speaks only 4 words. When he wants his fairytale book, which is what he spends most of his time with, he'll say "bok." I already spoke with April about the option of an IPad. And due to the fact that Henry is not using sign language, it makes it almost impossible for him to express himself. He gets very frustrated and can hurt himself during a breakdown, usually biting his arms."

They kept talking about the kids for a couple hours more, trying to make plans about how best to teach each child, then they called it for the day.

* * *

It was 6pm when Regina finally arrived home. Exhausted from the long day, she took a shower and went straight to bed. It was the first time she dreamed about the smiling little boy and his blonde mother.

It has been two months since the beginning of the year. Things were going great. The new kids adjusted well to the school and the old ones were making Regina so proud she wanted to yell it to the world. Henry started to use IPad for speech and the team decided to ask Emma to purchase an IPad so he can use one at home too. It would keep that bit of stability for him in and out of the classroom. Regina was supposed to meet the blonde woman in ten minutes and she couldn't stop herself from feeling nervous. The blonde woman had some kind of affect on her. She was excited to tell Emma how Henry improved and how he was having a much less hard time now that he could describe his feelings with the IPad. People underestimate the ability to say "I'm sad" or "I'm happy," but over the years Regina saw how being able to say these things out loud made it so much easier for these kids. She wanted to make Emma smile and see those beautiful eyes shining with happiness and not the worry she saw them with all the time. She was lost in thought and didn't hear Emma entering the room.

"Hey," Emma said to the brunette when she noticed Regina didn't hear her entering.

"Hello," Regina jumped a little when she saw Emma. "How are you? I heard that you moved close to here."

"Yes. Today I hope to finish unpacking everything. It's all going really good actually. Henry really loves come here and he always comes home happy. It's exciting." Emma smiled that smile that reached her eyes and made them even more beautiful . I must stop staring! Regina scolded herself in her head.

"We fell in love with him," She said and looked up from her cup of coffee. "I wanted to talk to you about the IPad actually. Ever since Henry has been using an IPad, we have seen major improvement. Today at breakfast, he tapped on the IPad asking for toast. When he received it, he said the word and laughed."

"Really?" Emma eyes shone with unshed tears.

"Yes," Regina smiled, though the action was involuntary.

"It also helps him a lot when he is having a hard time. We thought that we would suggest you purchase an IPad so he can use it all the time."

Emma was overwhelmed. She couldn't believe Henry said something new. And like she knew that she needed to save up for the new place they were living, she knew she must purchase an IPad for her son. But how will I get that amount of money?

"Thank you so much for what you are doing. I'll get him an IPad soon."

* * *

It was 5pm and Emma just got stuck without a babysitter for Henry. She had a shift in half an hour and she was desperate. In a last minute attempt, she decided to call Regina. It's not like it was easy to find a babysitter for an autistic child, not with this little of warning.

"Hello," a low voice sounded on the other end of the call.

"Hey, Regina. It's Emma… Henry's mother."

"Oh. Hi Emma. How are you? Has something happened?"

"I'm fine. I hate to ask you this, but it's just I really need a babysitter for Henry. I have to go to work. I know it's last minute and I know it's really inappropriate but I'm that desperate." She laughed, hoping to shake off some of the awkwardness of the situation.

Regina would wonder forever why she said it, but without a thought she replied "No problem, Emma."

* * *

 **Next chapter get ready for SwanQueen!**

 **I want to say thank you for GracefulWhispers for beta this story**!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Emma came into the house in tears, exhausted both emotionally and physically from the day. She forgot that Regina was in the apartment and was surprised to see the older lady sitting on the couch with a book and a pair of glasses.

Regina was startled by Emma's entrance. And immediately, she stood from the couch. Her features quickly changed, moving from surprise to concern when she noticed the traces of tears on Emma cheeks.

"Emma," the older woman whispered. "What happened?" She took a few steps closer to Emma, not wanting to be close to her in any way that would be inappropriate or make her uncomfortable, but wanting to be close enough to offer comfort and care.

Emma was broken, not broken like a puzzle that could easily be put back together. No, Emma was broken by the most strong force of all. Emma was broken by life. And life had put her to a test since she was born.

It started when her parents left her on the side of a road when she was just a baby. It continued in the foster system when she had to deal with group houses and families who only wanted her for the money they got from the government.

It didn't stop when she ran away at the age of 16, knowing that she would be better off on her own. Life kept pushing her, but Emma was a fighter and she pushed just as hard back. Emma always kept fighting... but even she knew a lost cause when she saw one… And that's exactly what point she was at. She was a lost cause, beyond repair and beyond exhausted. She was tired and hungry and all she wanted was some ice cream and a bed.

Instead, she found herself sitting on the couch trying to catch her breath. For a few moments, she ordered the tears to stop so she could say something to the woman sitting next to her. Regina was staring at her with such concern and sadness in her eyes.

Regina set next to Emma on the couch, waiting for the woman to say something. From the few meetings with the woman, she knew Emma was strong. Seeing her like this broke her heart, and she knew Emma probably didn't want her seeing her like this either. She wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be all right, but for obvious reasons she didn't.

* * *

 _-2 hours earlier-_

 _Emma was almost at the end of her shift. Things were going great, people were happy and leaving great tips. She had just served table number 11 their food when she heard Ruby calling her from a few feet away._

 _"Emma. Table 7 asking for you," the tall brunette said._

 _"Table 7 is your territory. What are you doing, Rubes? Trying to give me more work?" She smiled._

 _"No. Seriously, Em. He asked for you." Ruby looked a little scared._

 _Emma went in the direction of table 7 when she came close enough to see the old man that was wearing a suit, a walking stick leaning against the side of the booth. Her heartbeat started to race. She knew why he was here. He must have received her letter._

 _"Hello," Emma said with all the confidence she could muster. This man was alive due to other people's weakness. And she could not let him see hers. Yes, she needed him. But he needed her too._

 _"Emma, I can see you came a long way since we last met. You're no longer a thief... "_

 _Emma bit her tongue. She wouldn't let him get through her. That's what he wanted._

 _"I received your letter, dear. You said that you wanted to talk. So talk."_

* * *

"I'm lost, Regina." Emma managed to say. "I made terrible mistake. I got involved with the wrong people. I made a deal with the devil..." Emma's features changed, now increasingly terrified. For a few moments, she tried to regulate her breathing, knowing that if she didn't, she'd start crying again.

Regina couldn't think clearly. All that she wanted was to comfort the woman next to her. She moved to hold Emma's hands in her own and searched her eyes. When their eyes locked, she used her teacher voice and order Emma to calm down. Almost immediately, it worked. Emma's breath came more slowly now.

"Now please tell me what happened," Regina said and gave Emma's hands a squeeze.

* * *

 _"Don't believe everything you see, Gold. Sometimes looks can be deceiving." She knew that she must play this man's game... it was for Henry. "I want to work for you." She finally said, getting down to business._

 _Gold never looked surprised, but she swore she saw a hint of shock in his eyes._

 _"And why is that, dear? I heard you quit that lifestyle. And even when you was in the business you said you wouldn't… what were the words? Never work for someone like me?"_

 _"Things change. I'm no longer dating your son. It's all ethical now."_

 _"I'm nearly positive that dating my son was never the issue. Why you want the job, Swan? And don't play games with me." He insisted._

 _"I need the money." She glanced around briefly to make sure none of her bosses were nearby. "Being a waitress, it doesn't pay off."_

 _"Once a thief, always a thief," He paused. "I do have a job for you. Meet me tomorrow at 5pm. You know where."_

* * *

"You got yourself involved in something like that!?" Regina tried not to shout and wake Henry up. His bedroom door was open slightly. Regina moved to close it before focusing her attention back on Emma.

"I had to!" Emma said, tears sliding down her face again. "I need the money, Regina!"

"There are other ways, Emma." Regina tried to make Emma see some sense."You have a child!"

"You think I don't know that? I do it for Henry!" Emma raised her voice. "I work three different jobs and I still have debts. The insurance can't begin to cover all of Henry's needs, and Henry barely even sees his mother. No wonder he doesn't say mom!" Emma broke down and cried.

After a few minutes, Emma choked out a few words. "Neal was right... I can't be a mom!"

Regina wanted to ask who Neal was. She wanted to say he was wrong and that Emma was a great mother. That Henry was a lucky child. But she didn't. Maybe it was because she knew the blonde didn't want to hear it. Maybe part of her still doubted what Emma was doing.

Instead, she put her arms around Emma's shoulders and pulled her into an awkward hug. Emma laid her head into Regina's shoulder and allowed herself to take comfort in the older woman's embrace.

* * *

 **So what do you think? Let me know (:**

 **Thanks again for my great beta GracefulWhispers**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Sometime in between the blonde sobbing and hiccuping, she fell asleep. Her deep, rhythmic breathing softly tickled Regina neck.

Regina played with Emma's blonde curls, moving her fingers through them, taking comfort in that small act she allowed herself.

She didn't know what to do. She didn't know why she got herself into all that had happened, but she knew she couldn't leave. Leaving was not an option, not by any means. She couldn't live with herself if she walked out of this living room, leaving Emma and Henry both behind.

Emma was about to make a big mistake, and she knew it. And Regina knew that she would have to do anything she could to stop her. She just hoped it would be enough.

And then, after everything was fixed, Regina could leave. She already crossed enough boundaries. She could help Emma clean this up and she and the blonde could return to simple teacher-mother relationship.

She tried to think about the best way to approach the woman in her arms. She knew well enough how making fast and easy money could affect people. And by all means she understood why it was important to Emma to have that money. But it ruined her entire childhood. And she didn't want it to ruin this beautiful family too.

She laid her head on Emma's forehead and whispered "Can I help you Emma? Will you let me?" Sleep took over her before she received any answer.

Emma felt gentle hand moving up and down her back. Her head was resting on Regina's stomach, her hair all over Regina's upper body.

She didn't open her eyes, knowing that the moment that she opens them, she will be back in reality. She could almost hear Regina's thoughts through the movement of her hand on her back, and it was clear that the older woman was arguing with herself.

Small steps made Emma open her eyes, ending the moment. She slowly moved out of Regina's embrace and sat on the couch. "Good morning," Regina said with a sleepy voice.

"Good morning," Emma returned, not addressing the awkwardness of the situation.

Henry appeared then, jumping on the couch and sitting beside Emma. He put his head on her leg and guided her hand to his hair, asking her to stroke his head. Emma smiled and did as he asked.

"Good morning kid." She smiled at him.

Henry, still sleepy, just put his thumb in his mouth and played with the blonde's curls.

Regina felt a little out place and stood from the couch. She was about to go to the restroom when Henry suddenly jumped from couch and yelled "No! No!"

"It's okay, Henry. I'm just going to the bathroom." She took his hand and gently rubbed small circles in his palm, knowing it would calm him down.

Henry followed her to the bathroom and waited outside. It was almost as if he left, she would be gone, disappeared out the window or something. When Regina came out, he took her to the couch and set between her and Emma.

"He really likes you," Emma smiled at her. "He usually doesn't communicate with anyone but me in the mornings."

"I like him too," Regina said and placed a small kiss on the boy's hand.

After a few minutes, Regina excused herself from the home. There was a long goodbye from Henry, and from the look on the blonde's face, it was clear she wasn't too happy with her leaving either.

Once in her car, Regina stared at her phone, not willing to press the call button yet. She wasn't willing to accept that someone broke her walls and came into her heart, someone besides the kids. Being with those kids was easy for Regina. In some way they were like her. Different. It was hard for them to fit in and communicate with others, something Regina knew and understand.

That is the reason Regina chose this job, and it was also why she was so good at it. She knew parents were fighting to put their children in her school, her reputation was well known.

But beside her work life, Regina was alone.

All her friends and social life were work related. And the reason for that was she had a problem finding her place.

Her only friend outside of work was Kate, the kindergarten psychologist and the one she was about to call.

Taking a deep breath, Regina pressed the call button.

"Hey," Kate's happy voice answered her/

"Kate. How are you?"

"Great! How are you? It's Sunday morning... why are you even up?" Kate asked.

"I need to talk to you. Can you come over?" Regina cut to the chase immediately.

"Sure. I'll be right there."

And ten minutes later Kate was at her doorstep. It hadn't taken Regina long to drive home, though she only got there a few minutes before Kate did.

"What happened Regina? You really had me worrying," Kate invited herself in and took a glass of apple cider.

"I think I'm having some feelings," Regina took a deep breath. "Feelings for someone I shouldn't feel this way about." She sat down on the couch, taking a sip from her own glass of apple cider.

"Regina, you can't control who you have feelings for," Kate said warmly. "Now why don't you tell me everything from the beginning."

"It's really complicated. So this person I have feelings for has a child with autism," Regina said and took another sip from her glass.

"So?" Kate said. "Don't tell me that is what's bothering you..." Kate laughed.

"What? No, of course not. But this person is also very mysterious... and wants to get herself involved in something very dangerous and stupid and I don't know how to stop her. She is very stubborn and independent... and sometimes I just want to kiss her and bring some sense into her." Regina spoke so fast that she didn't notice what she all confessed to until it was too late to deny it.

Kate's smile was so wide it was took half of her face. But Kate knew her friend. She knew Regina was not ready to talk about her feelings yet, so she instead asked, "What is she planning to do?"

Regina smiled a smile of gratitude toward Kate for not pushing her. "She got herself involved with Gold."

"Mr. Gold? That guy your mother hates?!" Kate asked.

"Yes, him. The only one who is worse than him is my mother herself."

Thank for GracefulWhispers For beta this.

 **So let me know what you would like to happen next ,I'm a little stuck.. I have few ideas.. open to more (:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Henry and James were sitting together beside the table, James with a piece of paper in front of him and a blue marker in his hand. Henry was with his Ipad.

James finished writing problem number two with his blue marker and went to take another color. He grabbed red, not looking in Henry's direction when he said, "Henry you want to say number three now." He showed Henry three fingers.

In response, Henry pressed on the number three icon on his Ipad and James smiled wildly as the words sounded. He painted the number three on his paper.

"Now four!" James encouraged Henry, still not making any eye contact.

Regina looked at the pair with a smile on her face, not noticing April showing up behind her. "So, you were right. The Ipad serves Henry well."

"I'm always right dear," Regina said turning to face the younger woman.

"Always the humble one," April rolled her eyes. "So any news about when one will be purchased for home? I hate taking it from him every time I'm taking one of the kids for therapy…"

Regina looked uneasy and it took a few seconds before she finally spoke. "I have not brought the subject up with his mother again."

April looked shocked. "But you had a meeting with her. You said you will recommend it, and look how it helps him! He's actually playing with other kids!"

"I know, I know! I will bring it up next time, but do you think we can maybe find people to donate?" Regina asked carefully. She didn't want to embarrass Emma, but she needed to prove the blonde that there are other ways to get the money she needed. She wouldn't have to give the donators her identity. She wouldn't have to do anything dangerous.

"We might. I will need to check it out, but it will take time," April said. She looked as if she wanted to ask more questions, but one look at Regina's face made her realize that the conversation was over. She instead went over to Adam and smiled at him "Adam, honey. It's your time now! Will you go on a walk with me to my classroom?" The little boy smiled and ran toward the therapist's room.

* * *

Emma walked the dark road she knew well. It brought all kinds of memories back to her. Most of them contained Neal.

When she first met Neal, they stole car together. From there on they stole a lot of other things together. He promised her that he would always be there. And for someone like Emma, it was enough at the time.

When they ran out of money and Neal was considered a wanted criminal, they had no other choice but to turn to Neal's father for help. Neal had always talked about how his father was a bad man, someone people wouldn't want to mess with. He never said that his father was at the head of the second biggest mafia in the state. When Emma found out who the old man was, she kept her distance from him. They were lucky to have him, though. He loved his son and because of that, he helped them out.

She was about to enter the secret alley that lead to Gold's hidden place when she felt a strong hand pulling her aside and toward another passage.

Emma quickly responded by kicking her leg toward the figure's knee. She missed and the figure turned her around, shoving her toward the cold, brick wall. They held her body there with their own, her hands secured above her head.

When Emma noticed the identity of the figure, she stopped trying to get loose, the brown eyes stared at her, as if challenging her to try. They were full of danger and mischief, their familiar red lips turning up in a daring smirk.

The brunette stepped back, letting go of Emma, though she quickly missed the heat of Emma's body against her own.

"Regina," Emma breathed, hardly able to process the fact that the brunette had ambushed her. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to prevent you from making a huge mistake!" Regina paused. "Emma, you don't want to get involved in this! What Gold wants, it's beyond stealing some money! Please… just go back home. I promise, there are other ways to get the money." Regina pleaded with her, unshed tears in her eyes.

"What do you know Regina? How are you even involved in this? What are you hiding from me?" Emma took Regina's hand in her own, giving it a little squeeze. She needed answers.

Regina looked at their joined hands. They fit so naturally together. She blushed a little at her thought. This wasn't the time. She was there for a reason, an extremely important reason.

"I..." Regina looked around, knowing that she was likely being followed and watched. This wasn't something she could simply reveal in the middle of an alleyway. It wasn't something she should be discussing at all. She looked at Emma's eyes again. "I can't tell you, Emma. Not here."

Emma stared at the other woman for a few seconds, almost wanting to go somewhere else with her. To figure all of this out together. Then, she dropped the brunette's hand. "Then I'm sorry, Regina. I need that money. Henry needs it."

Emma walked only a few steps toward the alley when a big explosion flew her backwards. A fire started from where she was supposed to meet Gold at the other end of the alley.

"What?" She began to say, her ears ringing.

Regina quickly was by her side. "Are you hurt?!" She yelled, checking Emma for injures.

"No," Emma responded, searching the other woman's gaze for any answers. There was nothing.

Regina helped Emma to stand, putting her arm around the blonde's waist to help her walk. "Just- just come with me." She walked Emma to her black Mercedes. She opened the door, helping Emma sit before quickly moving to the drivers' side. Regina put her foot on the gas pedal and drove the hell away from there.

Less than half an hour later, she parked outside a big white mansion.

"Come on. Get out of the car," she ordered Emma. The blonde obliged, trying to decipher Regina's tone. It was an order, but not a harsh one. Almost a desperate one. One that begged Emma to just hear her out. And she would.

They entered the house and Regina poured them both a red wine.

She sat on the couch and waited for Emma to take a seat beside her. When Emma finally did, Regina took a deep breath. Her voice came out much more calm and collected than she was currently feeling. "I think we need to talk."

* * *

 **AN- soo we will getting some answers next chapter!**

 **let me know what you think! i love reading your comments!**

 **And again thanks for GracefulWhispers for beta this story (:**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

 **sorry for the delay , and special thanks for GracefulWhispers who edit this chapter and did and amazing job!**

 **so it's the moment we all waited for! answers+swanqueen!**

* * *

 _"She sat on the couch and waited for Emma to take a seat beside her. When Emma finally did, Regina took a deep breath. Her voice came out much more calm and collected than she was currently feeling. "I think we need to talk," she said, her eyes moving to those of the blonde."_

Emma stared at Regina. She searched her eyes, looking for something, anything, that would explain the crazy events that had occurred over the last few hours.

But those brown eyes that were always full with warmth and genuine care, those eyes that she shared her secret with and dreamed of more than the blonde would like to admit were now empty. She was able to find a hint of fear and anxiety in them on the ride back to the house. The moment Regina sat on the couch, it was clear that her eyes and body shut down.

Emma didn't recognize her. And that was something that terrified the young woman. She forced herself to sit next to the brunette and took a long sip of her wine.

"I think we need to talk," Regina repeated. She felt the younger woman's eyes on her. And though she wanted to let her guard down, she couldn't. Now wasn't a time to be defenseless and vulnerable. It was time for action. After a few seconds, she continued,"What I'm going to tell you… it's going to sound crazy. And-" The brunette mumbled trying to find a way to say it right.

Before she could, the blonde interrupted her. "Regina, seriously?! I almost got blown up today! And somehow you, my son's kindergarten teacher, showed up? Saving me from a mafia hideout?" Emma paused, locking eyes with the brunette. For the moment, she gained a confidence that she didn't know she had. "I want answers, Regina." She felt her breath coming short. She hadn't had time to actually process what had happened earlier in the day. She could have died. Henry could have lost his only parent he ever knew. What did she get herself into? And what was Regina's part in it?

Regina felt Emma words cutting into her. Emma could have died and she knew it was partly her fault. Regina was so beyond glad that that hadn't happened. If something happened to the blonde, she knew she would never forgive herself.

"My mother is Cora Miller," she said coldly.

Emma just stared at her and waited for her to continue.

"You probably know her as "The Queen Of Hearts," the media gave her the nickname. "

For a few moments, Emma tried to process the new information. She knew enough about Cora Miller. Her name was well known and she had heard of her on more than one occasion. "Your mother is the woman who tore her victims' hearts out of their bodies?" Emma wanted to throw up. It was all too much to handle at once.

"That is the way she marks her victims, yes. She's a cruel woman who only cares for money and power…"

"You're in the Mafia?" Emma whispered, unable to look away from the other woman.

"No! I started a new page in my life. I went of the radar and I don't want to be connected to my mother in any way. But there is still Gold to think about. He wants nothing more than to destroy my mother. Emma, he's going to use you to do that.

"Use me? Regina, I'm just a thief. You've got it all wrong. I'm hardly… I'm hardly involved." Emma tried very hard to wake up from this dream, to understand what was happening. She willed herself to get out of this nightmare, because there is no way in hell that her son's teacher is the daughter of the most dangerous mafia head. As hard as she tried to deny it, she knew that it was all real. She took another long sip from her wine while Regina stood up from her seat.

When Regina returned after half a minute, she held a few photos in her hand. All of them showed Emma and Regina together. One when Regina came to Emma's house to babysit Henry. The other was from when they met the first time to talk about Henry. Emma looked at the photos, and that was when she lost it. Everything went into slow motion. She heard Regina call her name but was unable to process it. She focused on Regina's face, again full of concern. She repeated her name again. It sounded like she was far away. Just when she felt Regina touch her arm, a worried expression on her features, everything went black.

* * *

Emma woke up in a bed with satin sheets. It was not her bed. She glanced over at the nightstand, where her phone sat. The notification light flashed on and off. She reached over and checked her phone. She had 6 missed calls from Ruby, who had been watching Henry that night. Emma glanced at the clock. It was midnight... she was supposed to have been home by eight.

Suddenly, she felt someone shifting in the bed next to her, a hand landing on her stomach. Emma looked at her side to see a sleeping Regina. For a few moments, she froze. Every rational thought told her to get out of the bed and leave the house. Regina was Cora Miller's daughter. At any moment, she could be killed. That could happen, if she was seen as a threat. Part of her began to panic, but the mere sight of the woman next to her put her at ease. This was something that she had wanted for so long, even if she would never have admitted it. As she looked at the brunette, she noticed how tender and soft her face looked without makeup. Her lips were less red than usual, but full nonetheless. Regina looked so carefree when she was asleep. She was so beautiful. She was one of the most beautiful creatures Emma had ever laid her eyes on.

Regina was beautiful on the inside too. Emma knew it. She saw how much Henry loved her every day. And the kids reacted so well to her. It was clear Regina got just as much joy out of it as the kids did.

And she had helped her too. Regina stayed with her when she was broken, after she made her deal with Gold. She had protected her that night, going right to the doorstep of her mother's greatest enemy. But for what reason?

It was that knowledge that made her send a quick text to Ruby that she was fine and be back in morning. She made a quick promise to make it up to her. She smiled as she looked at Regina's hand that rested on her stomach. She threaded her own fingers with the woman's, letting sleep claim her again.

* * *

Regina woke up to an empty bed.

She didn't know why it bothered her so much that Emma was gone. She and the blonde were barely even friends. And though part of her wished otherwise, they would probably never be anything after that night. And what had possessed Regina to think that she should have taken Emma to her bed? All of it, everything, was so unbelievably crazy.

That was the reason Regina was so surprised to find the blonde making coffee for both of them in her kitchen.

"Good morning," the blonde greeted, smiling. The smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but there was something there. Some emotion was in Emma's gaze, but she couldn't decipher exactly what it was.

"Good morning," Regina answered and took her mug of coffee.

"Look…" Emma began, leaning against the counter. She fought to find the right words, "The photos… I didn't really get a chance to ask about them."

"You fainted," Regina said and took a deep breath. "It was probably the events of the day and with all that wine..."

"I guess being almost killed has its side-effects," Emma tried to joke. "So... the photos. How did you get them?"

"My mother has spies within Gold's community. One of them found them. Gold wants to destroy my mother through me… and that is why he needs you. He probably thinks we're friends or something. And that is why my mom blew up his hiding place," Regina said. She tried to sound calm, but she was nervous. She never liked to talk about her mom.

"So because of you I almost got killed?" Emma questioned. She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't believe this..." Emma was moving from side to side trying to calm herself.

Emma's words hurt Regina. She felt like one of her mother's victims. It felt like Emma tore her heart out of her chest.

It was then that anger moved through her. How dare Emma blame her. It was her stubbornness that got them both messed up in this!

"It was not my fault," Regina's voice rose, losing her temper for the first time. "Emma, I told you not to get involved. I could have-"

"You could have what, Regina? What could you have done?" Emma looked at Regina again... and she finally saw it. She saw the hurt and pain that was held captive in the woman's eyes. She saw shame and regret and more than anything else, she saw fear. Emma wanted more than anything to rid Regina of that burden, the one that came with all that she had to deal with.

Tears began to pool at the corners of the brunette's eyes. Emma wanted to wipe them all away. She wanted to say that she was sorry, but she never had been good with words. So, instead, she locked eyes with the brunette, finding an unspoken understanding there between them. She closed the space between them and connected their lips.

Regina didn't respond at first, but when the blonde moved her lips, Regina's lips moved with them. -Emma melted into the kiss, their bodies moving to close the little space that was left between them.

* * *

 **I'm so happy! took Emma long enough!**

 **let me know what you think!**

 **next chapter – more swanqueen + Gold**

 **and Henry because I missed him!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **AN\ So 2 updates in a week ;)**

 **More swanqueen.. before the angst..**

 **This story will be rated M because of the direction i'm going with it.**

* * *

"Emma melted into the kiss, their bodies moving close in the little space that was left between them."

Regina couldn't believe what was happening. Emma's lips were soft against hers and both of the blonde's hands were resting on her cheeks, keeping their lips locked together. She felt her head growing dizzy and her heart missing beats. It was clear that the kiss was everything that they wanted to say to each other but weren't able to. It was soft and passionate and then hard and tender. It held so much unspoken feeling that it was unclear to Regina how much time had passed. Both woman split apart at once, looking into each other's gaze as they did so.

Emma was the first to break the silence that lingered between them.

"Regina, about what I said. I'm so-"

"Don't!" Regina stopped her immediately. "Don't... it's not like you were wrong. I am the reason you almost got killed, or at the very least, I played a role in it."

"But it was my fault. I had a choice and I chose to make a deal with Gold. It was completely my decision."

A tear made its way down Emma's cheek. Suddenly, the weight of world felt like it was on her shoulders. Everything that was happening, it seemed to be so much her fault. And she wouldn't be able to bear it if she was the reason that Regina somehow got hurt. If Gold wanted Regina's mother killed, how unlikely was it that he wouldn't get rid of Regina if the opportunity arose too? Emma never cried in front of people. Not at all. It was something that she learned as a child. Once, when she was little, one of the women who worked for the foster system spoke to her, "People want a happy girl not a sad one."

It was clear upon her first meeting with a set of potential parents that they didn't care at all for what she felt. So she kept her feelings inside her, only letting them out when she was on her own. She cried her heart out sometimes without knowing why. And here she was crying in front of Regina, for the second time. Though as the tears welled up in her eyes, she could see no judgement in those of the woman across from her. Again, that care and compassion had returned and Emma felt at home.

Soon, Regina took the blonde's hands into her own and squeezed them gently. She wanted Emma to know how much she cared. And though they didn't know each other very well, she felt more comfortable with the woman than she had been in a very long time. Without speaking, Regina closed the space between them, pulling the blonde closer into a hug. For a few minutes, they just sat there, both completely comfortable.

Regina waited until the blond sat back before looking up into her brown orbs. Her voice held all the confidence she could muster, though none of it was real. "I will fix this. I promise, Emma. I will find a way to get us out of this." And though, she wasn't sure that it was possible that they get out of whatever would happen unscathed, Regina hoped more than anything that they would.

The blonde's lips parted a bit and her eyes closed. There was something about this moment she wanted to remember. She was at her most vulnerable. And this was a terrifying and crazy time in her life, but in that moment when Regina's thumb slowly drew circles in her left hand, she never felt more safe.

Regina saw Emma's reaction to her touch and decided to be the brave one for once. She brought the blonde's hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles slowly. Emma breath came faster, and her eyes shut again. She felt a wave of feeling hit her at once and she opened her dark green eyes and saw Regina's mischief gaze directed towards her. She looked even sexier with her jokingly features. And despite the gentleness of the moment only seconds before, Emma couldn't take it. She pushed Regina's body to hers and clashed their lips together again. The kiss was full of need and their tongues quickly found their way to each others'. Regina's hands made their way to Emma's back and settled on the woman's lower body. Pulling Emma closer to her, their bodies melted together. Emma's lips parted from the brunette's and she spread small kisses all over Regina's face until she made her way to her neck, sucking and kissing her pulse point. She could feel Regina's hands at her hair encouraging her to continue. She bit her neck slightly and Regina made a loud moan causing Emma to smile against her neck.

Both women jumped, breaking apart when they heard the ring of a phone. After a few seconds of fumbling for it, Emma pulled her phone from her pocket. As she stared at the screen, her eyes grew wide.

"It's Gold!" Emma frowned, and she at Regina with fear.

"Answer," Regina encouraged. "It will be ok."

Emma gave a small nod and answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Dear... unfortunately we didn't get to meet the other day. While we still continue to look into what exactly occurred, I'm sure it is no concern to you. And despite the circumstances, I would still like to meet with you. And you can bring you friend as well."

"Friend?" Emma tried to sound anything but weak.

"Regina. I'm positive you know her. Bring her with you and you can still get half of the money. I'll send you the details." Without warning, the call cut off.

Emma looked terrified, her eyes were full of fear and her face had turned a ghastly shade of white.

"What was it he wanted?" Regina asked.

"I- he wants to meet. Look, how about we talk about this later? I need to get back to Henry."

And though she wanted nothing more than to press the subject further, she just nodded. "Sure."

It was a school day and Regina needed to get to work and Emma needed to go home.

Both women said a shy goodbye to each other, promising to be in touch soon, when Gold made another move.

Regina quickly wore her work clothes and drove, happy to put her mind to focus on something else rather than her crazy life.

"Grace… Dear, don't cry. We will find the missing piece of the puzzle." Regina tried to soothe the small girl who got up and began to yell in the middle of completing a Winnie the Pooh puzzle.

The small girl then took her Ipad and pressed the "sad" button a number of times.

"Oh Grace, I can see that you are sad. Let's search for this piece together?" She took the small hand in her own and went to look for the missing piece. She then suddenly felt a small body crash into her from behind, a small voice saying "Kiss… kiss."

Regina quickly turned around embracing Henry. "Henry! I've missed you." She sent a warm smile in the direction Emma, who stood in the entrance of the classroom.

"Sorry that we're a little late," Emma said.

"It's fine," Regina answered, knowing well enough how Emma's morning went and how stressful things were for her.

Henry pushed himself out of Regina's embrace and showed her the small puzzle piece that sat in his hand. He ran in his mother's direction, looking curiously at the small piece.

He then looked directly at Regina and said, "Pu-zzle."

Emma felt her heart racing and she quickly did a double take. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She bent down next to Henry. "What?!"

The boy pointed at the puzzle piece and said again, "Pu-zzle."

Both Regina and Emma were shocked. They shared a quick glance, their eyes wide. In fact, the whole crew stopped working and looked in Henry's direction. The only move that was made was by Grace who took the puzzle piece from Henry and moved to finish her puzzle. Once setting the final piece into the puzzle, she ran with joy over to Henry and hugged him.

* * *

 **So let me know what you think ;)**

 **Next chapter will be longer and we wil have angst.. because.. i love angst.**

 **As usual thanks for the amazing GracefulWhispers for beta this!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **AN** **: ok so first this story is rated M now.**

 **as i promised we have angst here..**

 **TW: mention of rape and murder**

* * *

It had been two weeks and though Gold had said that he wanted them to meet, no contact from Gold had been made. The two women fell into a routine. Regina parked her car two streets from Emma every evening and made her way to the woman's house by foot. Along the way, she checked to be sure that she was not followed by anyone.

The women had been practicing self defense techniques and Regina was teaching Emma the history of both criminal families that were involved in the situation. After, they were falling asleep in each other's embraces sharing small goodnight kisses and soothing words.

That night was in no way different. "Focus, Emma!" The older woman commanded, meeting the blonde's gaze.

Regina was a tough teacher. Emma felt like she was in high school all over again. She had struggled. Learning that information didn't some to her right away, but she worked hard at it.

"I'm trying! It's all just so complicated. This whole thing has been going on for so long." She sighed. "By now I know more about Gold's past than I know about mine!" Emma complained.

"You must know everything you can about those who you are up against!" Regina said. She sat down in front of Emma and put her reading glasses on the table beside her. "Gold knows everything about you by now, Emma." She looked into Emma's eyes. Emma was transfixed by Regina's gaze and she couldn't bring herself to break away from it. She saw all the fear and worry that was in the brown orbs and it scared her. She knew just how strong and powerful Regina was. She saw the woman in her self defense lessons. Regina could throw a knife into the target and never miss. This woman was fatal. And knowing that even she was scared? Well, it freaked Emma out a bit.

"He probably has been following you for weeks now. He has been learning every little thing! If you know your enemy's weakness, it can save your life." Regina took a breath, the look in her eyes completely serious as she continued, "It's saved mine more than once." Regina looked haunted then, like she remembered something. It was clear by the faraway look in her eyes and the way her brows furrowed that it was not a nice memory.

Emma took her hand in both of hers, trying to bring the woman to the present again. Regina snapped out of it. Abruptly, she stood again and fixed her skirt.

"So what can you remember right now?" She asked.

"Cora and Gold have some dark shit that no one really knows much about. It's just between them. Gold's greatest weakness is his son Neal, who is out of the country at the moment. His next weakness is Belle, who actually doesn't know that he's a criminal. He works with Mary Margaret, who is also known by the code name Snow White." Emma flinched. She never liked that fairy tale. She continued. "Mary Margaret is the daughter of…" Emma tried hard to remember, but she couldn't get the name of that bastard locked into memory.

"Leopold," Regina said.

"Yes!" He died. And he was one of the best customers of Gold. Snow White…" Emma rolled her eyes at the name, "Wants to avenge her father's death. She believes he was murdered by his second wife." Emma smiled, proud that she finally got it all. God, it all sounded like an episode of CSI.

Regina looked at Emma and smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"But… there is something more," Regina said gently.

"Really?!" Emma sounded exhausted, but nodded a little. "Yeah, okay. What is it?"

"Leopold's second wife... is me." Regina waited for her words to sink in. She waited for Emma to respond. But all she got from Emma was a long and warm hug.

"I wasn't expecting that," Regina said finally, her head resting against Emma's neck.

"The past is the past, Regina. I already know that you made some wrong decisions. And I also know that I don't know the whole story." She paused briefly. "I'll be happy to hear it when you're ready to tell me."

She looked deep into the brunette's eyes, forcing her to see the truth in the words that she had just said.

"I would like to hear your story too, Emma." Regina told her solemnly.

Later that night, both women were lying on the couch, Henry sleeping in his child bed in the other room.

Emma was awake. She stared at the ceiling, her mind racing with all of the new information that she had learned that day. Regina was lying on her side staring at the wall. Emma was sure that she had fallen asleep. She was just about to drift off to sleep too when she heard a quiet voice coming from Regina's direction.

"I killed him," Regina whispered and turned over to face Emma.

Emma didn't say anything. She just reached out for the brunette's hand under the covers and held it in her own.

"I was seventeen when my mother decided to send me on my first undercover mission. She married me to Gold's favorite customer. No one recognized me since I never had really been outside without some sort of disguise. He never stayed alive long enough to tell who I was. And before that, I never killed anyone. Not at all. I led people to their death… but I was never the one who pulled the trigger." Regina took a long breath. Emma remained quiet, waiting for her to continue.

"I didn't want to marry him. But… no one says no to my mother. I knew that better than anyone. And Leopold, he had a heart condition. I was supposed to get as much information on Gold as I could. Mother said that he would die in a year or two and we would get all his money and recognition for what I had done. She told me to act as the good wife, taking care of his twelve year old daughter and making him happy. And I did, but he made me miserable." Regina paused, looking away. It was clear the next words were incredibly difficult to get out. "Every night he came… never asking... just taking."

Tears flowed down Regina's cheeks like a river, her gaze focused on some faraway place., Emma give her hand a little squeeze, not making a sound. She knew Regina needed to take her time. Emma just needed to be there for her.

"He never was gentle. And it was him that made me lose my virginity." Regina looked disgusted then. "I've used my sexuality as a weapon, but I never had sex before then. I bled so much that night that I thought I was going to die. I wanted him to stop. I wanted to leave the mission and everything that had to do with my mother's rivalry behind… but I knew that wasn't an option. Leopold wanted a son. And when I found out that I couldn't have children, he was angry. I was worthless to him. What woman was worth anything without the ability to bear children? He yelled at me for not being attracted to him, blaming me for everything was wrong in his life, so I killed him. I switched his medication and he died. I never regretted it." She looked into Emma's eyes, her own gaze unwavering. "Not even once."

* * *

 **As always a big thank for GracefulWhispers who making this story so much better!**

 **Tell me what you think! I really love to read your comments!**


	10. Chapter 10

**chapter 10**

 _I switched his medication and he died. I never regretted it." She looked into Emma's eyes, her own gaze unwavering. "Not even once."_

* * *

Emma had told her that she would never blame her for killing Leopold. She just hoped that she believed her. Even in that serious moment, Regina's small smile sent butterflies to her stomach. She had leaned in for a small kiss, but Regina pushed hard against her, wanting more. Emma needed the kiss just as much, and suddenly the kiss became heated. It was full of tongues and teeth. Delicate fingers trailed her back, dancing down her spine.

Emma broke the kiss, looking deep into the brown orbs across from her. She saw the passion there. For all of the emotions she could see in Regina, she had felt them too.

"Please," Regina softly whispered.

Emma kissed her again, her hands tracing all over Regina's body. Finally, her lips settled on the brunette's neck, nipping and sucking the sensitive skin there. She sent a hand under Regina's blouse, caressing her stomach. And that was when she felt the older woman completely freeze.

Her breaths came faster and faster, her body becoming tense and cold. Emma called her name a few times, but the older woman didn't respond at all. She locked their eyes together, one hand resting gently on her cheek, the other squeezing her hand. She could see that Regina was in a much darker place, somewhere completely far away. Her eyes were full of terror and fear. Knowing the new information about the brunette, she would have done anything to get her out of there. Emma needed to bring her back. "Regina," she said again. She squeezed her hand a little tighter, her gaze desperate.

When Regina finally came back, her eyes immediately filled with tears. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry," she whispered.

Emma just pulled her into her arms, her voice soothing. "Shhh… it's okay," she said.

After a while of lying there, it was clear that all of the events that had occurred over the course of the day had caught up to the brunette. The older woman was finally peacefully asleep, her were features completely calm. Without the wet cheeks and puffy eyes, no one would be able to tell that she had been a wreck only a few hours earlier. As the two of them sat snuggled on the couch, Emma just kept a steady eye on her. It was as if she looked away, Regina might disappear altogether. And the blonde wanted to be there for her in whatever way she was needed.

The brunette's steady warm breath tickled Emma's neck, her arms circling the blonde's midsection.

Emma could have sworn that her heart had been ripped in half when the confident woman had started to cry. The walls that the brunette had built up within her had completely collapsed. And all that was left was the broken pieces of her heart.

It meant so much that Regina was finally able to trust Emma so completely. They had barely known each other for a few months, yet the connection the two of them had was something Emma couldn't begin to ignore if she wanted to.

But as the woman had cried in her arms, Emma felt so small and insignificant. Knowing that she could do nothing but hold the older woman made Emma even more upset.

It was not your fault. She kept repeating the words in her head, but for some reason she couldn't believe it. Not completely. She should have known better. Regina had gone through so much. And now, more than ever, Emma knew that she would have to be the strong one. She pulled the brunette closer in her arms, burying her face in Regina's hair.

Emma had almost fallen asleep when she heard Regina whispering something that she couldn't understand.

"What?" She asked, coming back from her daydream and putting her full attention on the woman in her arms.

"I'm broken," Regina whispered again. "I thought I could do it... and I have since him, but never like this." She paused for a long time. "It had never meant anything with them, Emma." Small tears balanced on the edge of her eyes. "And now I'm broken."

Emma searched Regina's gaze and held it. She wanted Regina to see in her eyes what she was saying. She wanted her to feel just how honest Emma's words were.

"You are perfect for me," she said at last. "We will work this out together, Regina. You aren't alone anymore." She wanted to say that she was in love with her, that she would be there forever. Even if Regina pushed her away, Emma would be there. And she knew more than anything that she was so lucky to have Regina in her life.

But it had been an emotional day for the both of them and she wasn't sure that Regina was ready for that. So she held her tighter in her arms and drew a small circles on her back until she fell asleep again, her breaths coming slower and deeper.

Emma was unable to fall back asleep. She was full of guilt and shame, her head resting on Regina's. She silently promised the brunette that she would find a way to make it all better. She would do if for both of them.

 **Nine Hours Later**

It was her third cup of coffee and Regina still was not feeling any less tired. The night before was a breaking point. She had never told anyone about what Leopold did to her. And telling Emma made her feel lighter, like she could move on from the situation. And the kiss... it made her want more... so much more. She wanted to feel what she never felt with anyone else. She wanted to feel loved, but even though she thought that she was, she wasn't ready.

When Emma touched her stomach, she instantly felt his hands on her again. The room suddenly changed to the home she had been in years earlier. She was not in Emma's arms anymore, but in his selfish grasp, under his weight. She froze and was lost, unable to find her way back to the blonde that was holding her.

"Regina!" Kate walked into the room, pulling her from her thoughts.

"I've searched everywhere for you!" She paused, and it was as if she was trying to figure out how to conclude her sentence. "The council wants to veto our decision to keep Adam here with us for another year."

"What!?" Regina snapped from her thoughts completely. They had worked their asses off to keep Adam in the system. Though he was aging out, he needed another year. He deserved it. He had made so much progress… and if he left now, he would have to get put in a higher education program for those with autism. That one more year with them could change his future. It could show just how much he was capable of.

"That isn't possible… I talked with them personally. I explained to them the situation. What happened?!"

"Budget," Kate said. "Keeping him here cost too much money. Money that I suppose could be used elsewhere."

"Look…" Regina began. "I'll take care of this. Thanks for letting me know." Her mind began working where she could begin to pull strings.

"Alright then." Kate turned to leave, but then stopped. "Oh. And Regina? You have a package.I left it in your office."

Regina went to see what the package was. On the way there, she decided that there was only one person that it could be from. They hadn't heard from Gold yet, and she was sure that Gold was planning something.

When she entered her office, she saw the small white box on her desk, nothing connected to it.

She opened it carefully. Inside the box sat a shiny red apple. There was no note attached, nothing that could possibly identify who it came from. But Regina knew better than that. "Two can play this game, Gold."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter , as always please leave a review and let me know.**

GracefulWhispers do an amazing job as beta this fic (:


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Regina stared at the apple in her hand for a few minutes before putting it back in the box.

She knew what message Gold wanted to get across by sending the apple. He wanted to shake her up. He wanted her to know that he would constantly be out there watching her every move. And Regina didn't doubt that someone was out there now, even as she opened the white box. That apple was from her garden. Regina was sure of it.

She had planted that apple tree the day she moved into her own place. It symbolized new beginnings to her. It represented new hope and new life.

Gold knew that. In fact, he knew everything about her. He was aware of her history, her past, and now he know what was happening in the present as apple was sent to show her that he was ready to make a move.

She was ready for it. And she wasn't going to even consider giving up.

She was Regina Mills. The same woman who learned how to use a knife when she was five years old. She knew how to shoot a gun since she was ten. And she was not going down without a fight.

"Regina!" Kate entered the room her voice loud and at a higher octave than normal. Her eyes were wide open with a look of absolute terror, her hands shaking violently.

Regina froze, her eyes searching for any explanation for why the woman was so shaken up. "Kate, what's going on?"

"Your mother," Kate answered immediately. "She… called me," Kate said, looking as if she was shivering now.

Regina didn't respond. There was no reason for Cora to call her friend, someone who didn't belong anywhere near the world in which Regina had once lived. And it was clear more than ever just how violently Regina was being pulled back into it.

"She said that you are in danger," Kate paused, looking as if she was unsure if she should continue. "And she also said that you should meet up with her."

"What!?" Regina was not ready for that.

She was not ready to meet her mother. She never was really ready to meet her mother, she never had been. There was a reason that they hadn't spoken in over a year. She wanted the memories of her past life to fade into nonexistence.

But she also had Emma and little Henry to think of. They meant more to her than she would ever admit. The more time she spent with the two of them, the more she fell in love with them. They were much more innocent in all of this than she was. And for the first time in years, Regina had someone else to put first.

Across the room, Henry was reading a fairy tale book at a small table. He looked out of the corner of his eye and was able to spot Regina in her office, the door open. She seemed to walk differently. She had more tension, it was like it was difficult for her.

He remembered about what they learned about faces and emotions. And if he had to describe the way Regina looked... he would have to choose sad, or maybe angry.

They learned that when you fall and get hurt, you are usually sad.

He still had a hard time understanding what it all meant, but his mother gave him a kiss every time he fell and cried. It always made him feel better.

He ran toward Regina and grabbed her hands.

"Henry?" The older woman looked at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears and worry. It was a look that he had never seen before on her. It almost made him pause, distracted.

"Kiss," he said and placed a wet kiss on her cheek.

Almost immediately, he saw the way her eyes changed. They looked brighter and her smile was small, but it was still sincere.

"Happy?" He asked, gazing up at her hopefully.

"I am very happy now, Henry. Thank you." She leaned down and gave him a big hug.

* * *

Emma was worried. Regina hadn't said so much as a word to her since she entered the apartment.

She was not surprised that Regina showed up. Recently, the had begun to spend almost every night together. But the way the brunette looked, pale and distant, scared Emma.

Her eyes were devoid of any emotions and more than anything, she looked unbelievably tired. She just sat on the couch from the moment she entered the house and didn't move. Her eyes were focused somewhere else, somewhere far away.

"Regina," Emma finally said.

The brunette made eye contact with her for a few seconds before drowning in her thoughts again.

"Regina!" Emma said louder, now commanding the other woman's attention.

"What?" Regina jumped, a knife appearing in her hand. She looked panicked and ready to attack

Emma came closer to her. "Hey, put it down." She whispered, putting her hand over Regina's carefully.

"Sorry..." Regina began, and Emma could tell that she was still not completely there in the moment.

"What happened?" Emma said, holding Regina's hand in her own, trying to take some of the panic that the woman was feeling away. Almost immediately, Regina squeezed Emma's hand tightly. Emma could feel the tension in the brunette's muscles. She was glad that she could be there for her. Her eyes focused on those of the other woman, waiting patiently for a response.

"My mother… she wants to meet me," Regina said. Her eyes were glued to the floor.

"What?! I thought you weren't talking anymore?"

"We didn't- still don't. However, she probably found out about Gold. I should have expected that she would be worried. I guess she cares about me, in her own crazy way. Or at the very least, she cares about what will happen to her if Gold gets to me." A tear ran down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, knowing that it was not the time to break down. If she couldn't even get through an explanation that discussed her mother, how was she supposed to keep herself together when she was speaking to her in person?

"Are you planning on meeting her?" Emma asked, already knowing the answer.

"I have to. Maybe she can help us out. She could help you and Henry. And as I'm sure I've already told you, no one can ever say no to Cora Miller."

"I'm coming with you," Emma said. She was trying to sound confident, even though she was scared like Hell. But she needed more than anything to support the brunette, to show that no matter what, she would be there for her.

"You can't." The tone of Regina's voice was stern, meeting Emma's gaze completely. "It's too dangerous… and I will not take that risk!" Regina pulled her hand out of Emma's. She held both of the blonde's cheeks in her hands. "Just promise me that you are not about to do anything foolish!"

"I can't promise that!" She paused. "Regina, I need to come with you. You know me well enough to know that I'm not letting you go alone!" She looked back at Regina, her eyes are hard and stubborn.

Regina gave up. She couldn't make Emma stay. And if that was the case, the second best option would be keeping Emma by her side where she could keep an eye on her. The last thing she needed was Emma sneaking around and risking herself more.

She felt herself being pulled into a hug. Her cheek rested on her favorite place on Emma's neck. She took in the comforting scent of her lover, giving herself a few minutes of peace before facing what was inevitable, her mother.

* * *

Emma entered the house just after leaving Henry with Ruby.

Today was the day. She was going to meet Cora Miller. It dawned on Emma that she never thought she would be as scared as she was of meeting her girlfriend mother.

A big black suitcase was lying on her living room table. Regina was dressed in all black clothing, her lipstick was a deadly shade of red, and her eye make up was darker than usual.

Emma had to admit that she looked really hot in her criminal serial killer form.

Regina opened a black case and pulled a gun from inside.

"You are going to need one. If you're still coming, that is." She gave it to Emma.

Emma didn't ask questions. She just slipped it just on the inside of her pants.

Regina started to pull out knives from the case and began to secure them in various places. She put them in her shoes, inside her jacket, even inside her bra. Emma began to wonder just what kind of place they were about to step into that Regina felt they should be that heavily armed.

She closed the case and looked toward Emma again, as if pleading with her on last time to stay.

And though she looked like she wanted to, Regina didn't ask. Emma tried to send a comforting smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Regina answered.

When they left the house, Regina noticed another package beside the door.

A sense of dread filled her as she opened it. Within seconds, she dropped it to the floor.

It was a rotten apple.

Great.

* * *

 **As always please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

 **Thanks again for GracefulWhispers for beta this story!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **AN – sorry for the wait..here we go (:**

* * *

"What the hell?" Emma shouted as she watched the rotten apple falling to the floor, bugs already scurrying across the floor to reach it.

"Who sent it?" Emma looked at Regina then, waiting for an answer.

"Gold," Regina answered coldly. She began to lead the way toward her black Mercedes, the blonde following close behind.

"God..." Emma shook her head a little, her tone sounding much more panicked than she intended. "What does it mean Regina?" She was beginning to freak out, realizing just how intense the situation had become. Gold was everywhere, and there was no doubt that Cora had eyes on them too. Maybe even right that second.

Not to mention that she was about to meet a serial killer who ripped her victims' hearts out of their chests. The idea that Gold was already contacting them, showing them that he was present in the form of rotten fruit was almost too much to handle.

"It doesn't matter right now… we will deal with him later. Right now, we are going to meet my mother. And trust me, rotten apples are nothing compared to her." Regina said and enter the driver's side. She looked over at Emma then, waiting for her to fasten her seatbelt. "I just hope you're ready for it."

They drove all the way there in silence. Emma watched from the window as the streets passed by. And after two and a half hours, they drove past an "entering Storybrooke" sign. The area was completely unfamiliar, and Emma was sure that after all that time driving, she wouldn't be able to trace their way back if she had to. Twenty minutes later, they stopped by a big white mansion. Regina eyes were full of panic and terror, her face completely pale behind all her make up. Emma reached over and squeezed her hand, trying to give her some support without speaking. She knew that nothing she could say would help her lover. She would just have to be strong for Regina, no matter what would go on in the meeting with her mother.

The brunette took a deep breath and her eyes suddenly changed.

They were empty of any emotion, and Emma couldn't read anything from them. The woman sitting next to her looked like a statue, a blank slate. And for a few moments, Emma wondered if she should put on the same. She doubted that she could if she wanted to. Emma felt her heart missing beats. The blonde didn't recognize this Regina, and it scared her.

Regina stepped out of the car and moved confidently toward the mansion. Emma moved behind her like a shadow. And within seconds, she was pressing some kind of a code, the door opening in front of them.

On a black couch with a glass of wine sat an older woman. She looked similar to Regina, the resemblance obvious, but not obnoxious. The woman she knew was Cora had a lighter tone of hair, her expression just as devoid of emotion as her daughter's.

She didn't look that dangerous, but from Regina's firm hold on her hand, Emma knew that look was likely meant to be deceiving.

"Regina," The older woman acknowledged her daughter's presence.

"Mother," Regina responded, squeezing her hand tighter. "This is-"

"Emma Swan," Cora said, then paused."Sleeping with the enemy now dear?" Cora looked at Regina.

"She is not an enemy Mother," Regina looked so young talking to her mother. And though Regina would likely murder her if she said it aloud, but she seemed to look for approval from her. She was looking for some acknowledgement that she did something right. Cora knew that. And she also knew that was Regina's weakness.

Emma's heart was breaking as she watched her lover's features changing into something more damaged, the stone-cold expression now gone.

"I'm a friend," Emma spoke then.

"I know exactly who you are," Cora told her and looked deep into her eyes. It startled Emma, but she made a point not to do so much as blink and response. Cora sent daggers with just that one look. "The question is, does my daughter know?" She said sharply, moving her focus to Regina again.

"I know everything that I need to know about Emma," Regina said without hesitation.

She knew what her mother was trying to do. She was trying to manipulate them. Cause them insecurities about each other. And she was trying to earn her back. Cora wanted Regina to need her, but Regina was not about to fall for it. She would never fall for her mother's falsehoods. She was done being her mother's doll.

"But do you?" Cora looked angry then, "Do you know that the father of her son is Neal?! Do you know you are playing right into Gold's hands by being with her?!"

Regina looked shocked. She didn't know the identity of Henry's father and they never talked about it. It wasn't necessary. But she never assumed it would be Neal, it wouldn't make sense. Emma wasn't that connected to Gold. It couldn't be true, she thought. It had to be another one of her mother's tricks.

In a desperate attempt to calm herself, she looked at Emma. What she found didn't bring her any comfort. Emma's eyes were pooling with tears. They told Regina everything she needed to know. It was true. She moved her hand from Emma's.

"It's not like that," Emma began, her voice breaking. She looked at the woman next to her desperately. "Regina, I swear… I am on your side."

"Liar!" Cora shouted and pushed her harshly toward the wall. Before Regina could so much as process what was happening, Emma's head bumped into it. From the way the blonde flinched, she could tell that Emma had been pushed hard. A trickle of blood began to fall, a bright contrast to the white wall. Cora held Emma's neck to the wall, her eyes falling on her daughter.

"MOTHER," Regina's voice was commanding now. "LEAVE HER ALONE."

"You never learn," Cora said and pressed a knife to Emma's throat. Regina's eyes met those of the blonde then, Emma's terrified gaze never leaving hers.

"Maybe I should teach you another lesson."

* * *

 **so what do you think? leave a review and let me know what do you want to see!**

 **and thank to the best beta ever GracefulWhispers!**


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